I faux-pas'd all over myself.

I made a funny at work today. I said something I shouldn't have, then said [title of this blog post] and wiped off the left leg of my jean pants.

... I got out of being in trouble.

This panda is sad....

because it's been so long since we have talked...

Baseball Season.

I would just like to point out that, unlike the other people in my life, I have failed to mention baseball to you at all this season (until right this second). I have also kept my promise and not made you watch baseball with me. Not word one did I speak about my (mildly) successful fantasy team, Team Steve Holt!. And I recently displayed extreme restraint when not mentioning how I WENT TO THE AL CENTRAL TIEBREAKER on Tuesday night OMG OMG OMG.



And I'm not going to explain to you now how absolutely exhilarating it was to be there for ALL TWELVE INNINGS OF AMAZING BASEBALL DURING WHICH I PRACTICALLY DID NOT BREATHE NORMALLY OR SIT DOWN AT ALL. I certainly won't mention how I jumped up and down frantically when WE CLINCHED THE DIVISION AND THE METRODOME FULL OF PEOPLE ERUPTED INTO A WAVE OF NOISE.



Nope, I will keep my word. Noooo baseball talk from me.



But I can't promise the same for next season.

Birfday!

My dearest darling Dr. Rob,

Today is your birthday. You are officially old. I'd tell you that you could feel free to break out the orthopedic shoes and bifocals... except I know you've already equipped yourself with those items. We do need to talk about you wearing them out in public - you're not THAT old yet.

On a more serious note, let's talk about me. Well, since it's your birthday, I'll try not to make this TOTALLY about me. Let's talk about us.

We have known each other for... a long time. I'd ask you how long now, but we're both too old to remember. I wish that I could be with you to celebrate, but in my absence, a cake that looks like someone's spine will have to suffice.

Here's to many more years of poop jokes, Disney references, inappropriate touching and using sports catchphrases that neither of us really understand (but don't know enough to know that).

I love you.

xoxo

p.p.

Season Two: starts off with witty one-liners.

"I am a diuretic seagull, people. Everything goes through me."

Bones.

i love that you love it.

Music Snobbery Just Ain't What it Used to Be.

The Symphony Gives Me a Headache too, Sometimes

Acute Rondometrialencephalocytis: Sudden swelling of the cells of the inner lining of the brain due to the last movement of a sonata.

Not a Tu-mah

Robby: "Well, whatever it is, you need to put some ice on it, because it's swollen."
Dazed Katy: "But where?"

:)

(In)activity.

My dearest Dr. Rob,

Today I had a flashback to that time I cut my French class to have lunch with you at Atlas. When did we stop going to Atlas? I think I know why.

Also I thought about that time that we hung out at Sue's house and watched Heroes for hours, limbs sprawled all over the couches and floor.

Were we ever really that active? I mean, did we DO things together? Other than consume large quantities of alcohol and/or food? And talk about Disney movies?

I would skip class any time to do nothing with you.

xoxo

p.p.

Top 5 Reasons for Katy to Move to Austin

1) Bats
http://www.austincityguide.com/content/congress-bridge-bats-austin.asp

2) Nude Beaches
http://www.hippiehollow.com/

3) Solar-Powered Parking Meters
http://solar.coolerplanet.com/News/19310331-austin's-parking-meters-run-with-solar-power.aspx

4) Hot, Hot Heat
http://www.climate-charts.com/Locations/u/US72254004104281.php

5) Robby!
http://www.hausmanchiropractic.com

Like Italians to a gold chain.

You: so why are you not attending UT for grad school?

Me: because i have no desire to move to texas. also i own too many sweaters and hate football.

Wit.

Robby: I like my coffee like I like my women.

Katy: Hot and with a spoon in them?

(Actual answer: Ground up and in the freezer - but a good guess, nevertheless!)

A Suppository of Katy.

Mornin' precious p.p.

So I've been spending a very productive morning looking at your mobile uploads on facebook, remembering fondly how your cleverness puts a twinkle in my eye and a crack in my ass.

I wish that I could be treated to at least one Katy-ism a day. Every morning. To start my day off well. Sort of like a daily suppository. Or something similar. Like a slow release gel-cap. One of those blue-green ones. But hopefully easier to swallow. I hear the effects of crystal meth last a loooong time, so maybe kind of like that, but with less tooth-damage. But I suppose I am getting off topic.

Basically what it comes down to is that I want to take the funny things you say and stick them up my ass at least once a day.

Make it happen. I believe in you like Home-School children believe in Ron Paul.

Love,
W-E-E-N

NPH makes me feel dirty.

PussPaw: ween!

Dr. Rob

i was just hoping you were going to sign on!!

how are you?

monkeyfart.

PussPaw

when are you coming back?

when

when

when

when?

Dr. Rob

haha

hopefully before the snow falls!

PussPaw

blerg

Dr. Rob

so next week then seems like my last option

PussPaw

that is not a very precise answer

Dr. Rob

haha

PussPaw

probably

though you are very succinct in your response it is less than satisfying

(that's what she said)

Dr. Rob

haha

hahaha

teehee

have you ever watched the Big Bang Theory?

PussPaw

no

JB was just telling me about that

show

he was telling me about that show

why do you ask?

Dr. Rob

because i just watched the first disc of season one

and i enjoy it

PussPaw

i went through a brief how i met our mother phase thanks to JB

of which i have since cured myself

Dr. Rob

brief and taudry?

has your affair ended?

PussPaw

yes

it was both brief and tawdry

i felt cheap and used once it was over

A charming Thursday afternoon.

My dearest darling Dr. Rob,

It's starting to edge toward fall here, though I doubt you'd know it where you are. This last weekend I enjoyed myself so much that I worked on a two-day hangover--this marked the first time that this has happened to me since you lived in the apartment on Johnson and Jefferson.

I used to think of that apartment every time I drove home, back when I lived on Lucas and Jefferson. Everything about that apartment seemed perfect. Even that ridiculous chair that never seemed to stop sinking when people sat in it. Even that time that Bert and I broke a bottle of vodka on your floor but couldn't get the fridge to move. Or the fact that you didn't have a dishwasher or (much) guest parking.

Dolen Place just never seemed that comfortable to me.

I miss you every, every day.

xoxo
p.p.

...but I just wanna dance.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/73383/30-rock-jennas-spotlight

I wanted the Muffin Top song, but this is good too.

I like being reminded not to poop on public transportation.

Don't touch it if you're human. Don't touch it if you're a car.

Story of our lives.