Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I faux-pas'd all over myself.

I made a funny at work today. I said something I shouldn't have, then said [title of this blog post] and wiped off the left leg of my jean pants.

... I got out of being in trouble.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

This panda is sad....

because it's been so long since we have talked...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Baseball Season.

I would just like to point out that, unlike the other people in my life, I have failed to mention baseball to you at all this season (until right this second). I have also kept my promise and not made you watch baseball with me. Not word one did I speak about my (mildly) successful fantasy team, Team Steve Holt!. And I recently displayed extreme restraint when not mentioning how I WENT TO THE AL CENTRAL TIEBREAKER on Tuesday night OMG OMG OMG.

And I'm not going to explain to you now how absolutely exhilarating it was to be there for ALL TWELVE INNINGS OF AMAZING BASEBALL DURING WHICH I PRACTICALLY DID NOT BREATHE NORMALLY OR SIT DOWN AT ALL. I certainly won't mention how I jumped up and down frantically when WE CLINCHED THE DIVISION AND THE METRODOME FULL OF PEOPLE ERUPTED INTO A WAVE OF NOISE.

Nope, I will keep my word. Noooo baseball talk from me.

But I can't promise the same for next season.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


My dearest darling Dr. Rob,

Today is your birthday. You are officially old. I'd tell you that you could feel free to break out the orthopedic shoes and bifocals... except I know you've already equipped yourself with those items. We do need to talk about you wearing them out in public - you're not THAT old yet.

On a more serious note, let's talk about me. Well, since it's your birthday, I'll try not to make this TOTALLY about me. Let's talk about us.

We have known each other for... a long time. I'd ask you how long now, but we're both too old to remember. I wish that I could be with you to celebrate, but in my absence, a cake that looks like someone's spine will have to suffice.

Here's to many more years of poop jokes, Disney references, inappropriate touching and using sports catchphrases that neither of us really understand (but don't know enough to know that).

I love you.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Season Two: starts off with witty one-liners.

"I am a diuretic seagull, people. Everything goes through me."

Monday, September 21, 2009


i love that you love it.