Oh, there you are.

Oh, hello, darling. I didn't see you there. In That Place That You've Moved To. Where you are doing Things That You Don't Tell Me About.

So, my darling Dr. Rob, how have you been? I must admit I am both relieved and disappointed that you didn't get to see my mother, as I would have been able to live vicariously through both of you. Things are progressing well here. I got a new shift at work and have acquired several other additional tidbits (that I choose not to reveal through the blog). For those details you will have to CALL, yes, CALL, me.

They are very interesting indeed.

Recently I have found myself imagining what could have possibly kept you from a) updating the blog b) texting me every time you had a good poo or c) quoting 30 Rock in a variety of different methods of communication. These are the choices running through my head:

1. You have joined a cult, shaved your head and now wear orange, but cannot be prevailed upon to use any sort of communicative device because it indicates devil worship.
-Thoughts on this: I like orange. This may be mildly forgivable, as I KNOW how much you love JC.
2. Your cell has broken and through some strange twist of fate you find yourself the victim of identity theft by some Nigerian prince, bankrupting you AND RYAN of all of your moneys and leaving you unable to replace your phone.
-Thoughts on this: You know that Tracy Jordan has already helped the de-throned Nigerian prince regain his title. Thus, you should have known better.
3. You have decided to run off and join a traveling sex circus, where you ride elephants and horses and tigers oh my! And occasionally they carry you around too.
-Thoughts on this: There is no excuse for this. Being a carny does not excuse you from picking up your new, probably garishly-yellow and covered in fuzzy polka dots clown phone and sending a simple 'I can't talk right now, since Leo needs his 5 o'clock feeding' text.

Please tell me if any of these are correct. You know how much I love being right.

xoxo
your non-doctoral pusspaw.